Back from Recess

I purposely checked to see when the last time I posted on this blog was, and coincidentally, it was exactly two months ago. I didn’t want anyone to think that I had abandoned this whole blogging project, life’s just been super busy. I think I also got deterred since I knew I was going to have to do a MASSIVE Friday Night Lights recap to catch up, but instead, I figured I’d update everyone on a bunch of subject in quick synopses. That should catch you up quite nicely. Here goes:

Baltimore Ravens: Doing good in the off-season. Their draft was like the draft in general: not to much panache, glitz, or glamour. To paraphrase what the Cutter texted me when the Ravens selected their first pick: “Drafting offensive linemen are like getting underwear for a present; sure you need them, but they just aren’t that exciting when you get them.” From what I’ve read, Oher has already stepped in during the offseason and become a big contributor, but only time will tell whether his skills will translate at the next level. I was disappointed at the lack of drafting a wide receiver, but hopefully one of the free agent pick ups will pan out for the team. Speaking of the draft…

Pat White: I actually considered breaking my blog silence and having a post about where I thought my favorite Mountaineer quarterback would end up in the NFL. My final guesses were based analyzing teams who at the time of the draft were in need of a quarterback enough to spend a second round draft pick on one. I came up with a dream scenario and a nightmare scenario:
Dream Scenario: Houston Texans. The Texans had just traded away their back up to Minnesota, and reuniting Pat White with Steve Slaton could have given the Texans the fastest backfield not only in the AFC South, but in the entire NFL.
Nightmare Scenario: Pittsburgh Steelers. The Steelers had just released Leftwich, Big Ben had suffered some concussions during the regular season, and the defending Super Bowl Champs didn’t have any glaring need coming into the draft. Not only that, but White publicly said he wanted to become a Steeler, and Steelers’ coaches and scouts said they would be shocked if White fell past the second round. So it seemed like a good match on both ends. The reason why this would have been a nightmare for me is the identity crisis I would have had if this came to fruition. I would have to hate a football player that for four years I had cherished. Luckily, this didn’t come to pass, because White went to…
Reality: Miami Dolphins. This made so much sense that no one saw it coming. I guess I have mixed feelings about it; after all, the team who brought the Wildcat (back) to the NFL would definitely have some use for a quarterback who would be a perfect fit for running it, however, with the depth at quarterback the Dolphins have already in place, I’m a little worried about what role on the team White will have; will he be strictly there to run the Wildcat or will they give him a definitive shot to show he can be an every down quarterback as well. Only time will tell.

Friday Night Lights: Since my last post before this one centered around this very subject, I figure I should touch on the subsequent episodes. They (the writers) managed to turn the ship around, and started pumping out good episodes towards the end. The finale did a good job of setting the stage to where subsequent seasons could still include a core cast of characters without too much not making sense. I was very happy to hear that the series got picked up for two more seasons, however, I think next season (like every season before it) will be a make-it-or-break-it situation for the show. It still hasn’t come close to how good it was during the first season.

So that wraps up sports since my last entry. Red and I are doing very well. I actually recently went out to Lincoln, Nebraska to visit her parents, which went better than I expected (this will be the subject of its own blog entry very soon). I’m very glad this facet of my life is going so great, because a lot of other aspects of my life are up in the air right now. Like many others, I am worried about my job; I do not want to test the waters of unemployment any time soon; however, to be as metaphorical as possible, I foresee storm clouds on the horizon. Also, one of my roommates decided to move in with his recently graduated girlfriend, which has good aspects to it and bad aspects to it. The good aspect is that I was not very fond of the girlfriend; whenever she came around to visit, she either acted like she owned the place, depositing her car wherever she saw fit, and her toiletries all over the bathroom. The bad aspect is that the roommate who is moving out took care of sorting out a lot of the payments and bills for the house, a task I do not completely trust the other roommate to accomplish on a reliable basis. However, if the remaining roommate decides to move out (which is a very distinctive possibility as well) I will be forced to either find two new roommates, or move again, neither of which are desirable options for me.

On the up side, I have started taking better care of myself. I’m trying to get more sleep at night. That hasn’t helped me with oversleeping in the morning, but hopefully it soon will. For the first time in either a long while or ever, I have been scheduling and going to doctor’s appointments, and getting things scheduled that will help me take care of various ailments I have not gotten treated. I also made a very healthy lifestyle change (also to be a forthcoming blog entry).

Anywho, that’s the last two months in a nutshell.

Friday Night Lights Recap: Episode 9

Our scene opens at NBC’s offices in Rockefeller Plaza last year. An NBC executive walks into the office of a writer for the critically acclaimed show “Friday Night Lights,” which has been suffering from low viewership despite its loyal fan base:

Exec: Welcome back from the writer’s strike. I’ve got some good news! Thanks to a deal with DirectTV, we’re going to bring back Friday Night Lights for a third season!
Writer: That’s great to hear! I’m looking forward to trying to bring back this show to its roots in season one, where we revolved around the football team and used dramatic story lines that people actually gave a crap about!
Exec: Nah, we don’t want you to do that.
Writer: Come again?
Exec: Well, we got a shitload of fan mail asking to bring the show back from the show’s rabid fan base. Even putting you on at a horrible time slot and our strategy of trying to expand the show’s viewership by inserting flagrantly dramatic story lines backfired in our faces. Your fans still want the show back, and we don’t want to look like assholes for taking you off the air.
Writer: So what is it that you want me to do?
Exec: Start season three, and by getting everyone’s hopes up for, oh, about four episodes. Then we want you to write this show into the ground. Make the show blatantly unbelievable, add a touch of that flagrant drama you smeared all over the place in season two, bring characters in and out of episodes so the viewers don’t know what is happening with them for weeks on end, write in a bunch of auxiliary characters that really do nothing for the show except take individual characters away from the central plot line, and start writing off characters into the sunset. Give teases of football, but make every football scene really short, and in the end of each have the football games bring families together or tear them apart. 
Writer: But…I think our loyal fanbase will hate that.
Exec: Exactly! At the end of this season, no one will be clamoring for our network to renew the show, since they will be so repulsed by the way the show has gone, and the network will come out smelling like roses. Plus, we can use your show’s old time slot to expand our Friday evening ratings with a really novel idea!
Writer: What did you have in mind to replace Friday Night Light’s time slot?
Exec: We’re expanding “Howie Do That” to a two hour long format, with an episode of “Deal or No Deal sandwiched in the middle!
Writer: I think I need a drink.

AAaaannndd scene.

I don’t think this conversation actually took place, but the way the show’s been heading, I wouldn’t be surprised if it did. The last episode of Friday Night Lights, “Game of the Week” was awful. Just downright awful. For those of you who like my show recaps, here it is in a nutshell.

• The Panthers play in a nationally broadcast “Game of the Week,” in which Matt Saracen gets his wish to become a wide receiver, gets a critical first down, and helps the team run out the clock and win the game, in the process bringing his estranged mother and grandmother together around their love for him.
• Lyla gets mad at Tim for not showing initiative with his recruitment to college. She starts hanging out with Mindy, who just broke up with Billy. Both Riggins brothers get their girls back, Billy by showing up at Mindy’s trailer and Tim by committing to a college.
• Tyra joins Cash on tour, only to find out “Cash” is in debt (I think the irony of the name there was the only thing enjoyable about this episode). When he gets abusive, she calls Tami, who goes with Coach Taylor to rescue her and drive her back to Dillon.

That’s about it.

You know, I really championed this show. I signed the online petitions, I joined the Facebook groups, I wrote letters to NBC. I thought that if they could get one more season, they might be able to turn it around, abandon some of the drama that made season two so awful, and return to the formula that made season one so good. You know, go out on a good note, in case it wasn’t brought back (which I now think is a reality; I’m 99% sure that this show won’t get picked up for a fourth season). Instead, they’ve tweaked what they were doing with season two, started focusing in individual characters wwaaaaayyyy to much, all the while taking certain characters out of episodes at a time, then bringing them back. It’s confusing, it’s frustrating, and it’s annoying. I look at this season like the scene in Alien: Resurrection, when Ripley finds the room with all the failed Ripley clones, sees the mutated one on the table saying “Kill me, kill me,” and grants it its wish. I can only hope that subsequent episodes aren’t as bad as this one, however, the way these last few episodes have been heading, I doubt it.

Friday Night Lights Recap: Episode 8

Since the first day of the Big East tournament is only available online through the conference’s Web site, I figured I’d blog while listening to the game on the other screen. Although the first day saw its fair share of upsets, such as DePaul, a team with exactly zero conference wins during the regular season, take down what was a bubble team in Cincinnati, and Georgetown get eliminated in the first round by a team that hadn’t had a Big East victory in half a decade in St. John’s, the upset that I was hoping to happen didn’t, as Notre Dame was victorious against a feisty Rutgers squad, meaning that the Fighting Irish will advance to play the West Virginia Mountaineers tomorrow night. I was certainly hoping that my Alma mater’s basketball squad would play Rutgers instead of a team that almost beat them in the first half, but such is the way in the Big East tournament. But for the first two games of the day, their outcomes were unbelievable to many who followed the Big East. Much like the last episode of Friday Night Lights (see, you like that segway; I know you do).

Wikipedia (otherwise known as my generation’s Encyclopedia) defines “suspension of disbelief” as  ”the willingness of a person to accept as true the premises of a work of fiction, even if they are fantastic or impossible.” Episode 8 of Friday Night Lights, aptly titled, “New York, New York,” tested even this centuries-old philosophy. The main plot in this episode was Jason Street, now much richer from flipping the house he invested in with the Riggins Brothers and Herc, traveling to New York to try to get his family back. You may recall in episode 7, Jason was at a Dillon home game when he was approached by one of his old teammates (Wendell) and that teammate’s soon-to-be agent (Grant). Gotta give a shout out to Drunken Bee on “Television Without Pity,” for helping me out with some of these names; they’ve been shuffling auxiliary characters in and out of the show so fast, I’m having trouble keeping up with all their names. Anyways, just like Jason’s trip to Mexico to try to get stem cells injected into his back, Riggins insists on going with him to the Big Apple. Grant (that’s the agent, remember) greets Jason with an icy shoulder, shatters his dream of being a big time sports agent, and informs him rather curtly that Wendell (that’s the former player) decided to go with a larger agency. Street takes Riggins’ advice and visits Wendell and convinces him to go back to Grant’s agency, at which time Grant offers Street a job. The episodes ends with Riggins tearing up as Jason’s baby’s-mama takes him back.  

Here’s where that suspension of disbelief comes in. I can handle Jason wanting to go to New York to try to get back with his baby’s mamma. But you remember that when Riggins decided to go with Jason to Mexico, remember Coach Taylor’s response. Riggins had to work his ass off to get back in Coach Taylor’s good graces. That was while he was only the fullback; Smash Williams was the team’s play maker. And now Riggins decides to just up and leave, not only the team but school, and everyone else just keeps going like nothing has happened? In the middle of a play off hunt? In the middle of Riggins trying to get recruited to a big time school like Oklahoma? I don’t even think that Coach Taylor even uttered the words “Where’s Riggins?” the entire episode! I know he had some other fish to fry (I’ll get to that later) but that seems a tad bit unbelievable. Fast forward to Jason convincing (in almost the same way he convinced Gerald back in episode two to buy a hybrid car from Buddy Garrity’s car dealership, you remember that, when American automobile companies had money to spend on product placements in shows like Friday Night Lights?) Wendell to go back to Grant. Wendell just follows Street back to Grant because “Jason’s such a good guy, [he] always looks out for everyone else?” Maybe Wendell decided to go to the other sports agency because they had better contacts, or had less of a commission than Grant (the way most big agencies can overcome the little guys)? But no, Wendell puts his future in Jason’s hands, even though Jason admits he’s only lobbying for Grant because he has a chance to get a job with his agency if he gets Wendell back there. Pretty unbelievable. Oh, and Jason automatically gets a job even though Grant laid it out to him that some of the entry level guys at the agency had Ivy League degrees to be there. But Street brings one client there, and boom, he’s in like Flint. Reeeaaallllyyy stretching it here. And all of a sudden, since Street shows up on her doorstep, his Baby’s Mamma decides to take him back. Despite his paltry salary in a cutthroat industry that he is wickedly unqualified for. Look, there goes a pig flying by in the background.

If you want more unbelievability in this episode, we can go back to Dillon, you know, where this show is actually set. Two big events happen on the football field (other than, of course, the star running back going AWOL). First, Coach Mack has a heart attack (I thought he was going to take up surfing). To replace him (since this is a crucial time in the season, you know, playoffs for football games that we never see) Coach Taylor decides to promote J.D. McCoy’s personal quarterback coach to offensive coordinator. That’s really easy to swallow. Bring in a new offensive coordinator, instead of Coach Taylor simply calling the plays himself? And giving the position to a guy he’s not quite sure of, has never worked with before, and most believable of all, is recommended to him by Buddy Garrity, the Darth Maul to McCoy senior’s Emperor Palpatine? That just doesn’t seem feasible. Also, Matt Saracen lobbies to be a wide receiver on the team, since he’s not getting his touches as QB 1 anymore. After a game of catch in the front yard, he gets Coach Taylor to agree to think about it, and at the end of the episode, he’s taking reps with the wide outs. Oh yeah, Coach Taylor would throw caution to the wind with his only back up quarterback and let him play wide out. Come on.

About the only other plot line that received any sort of attention in this episode was the Tyra/Cash saga (also known as “As the Trailer Park Turns”). After Cash can’t promise Tyra he will be faithful to her during a six month stint on the road, Tyra decides to abandon school and her dreams of going to college and not ending up like her mother and sister and go with Cash on tour. Why do I foresee Landry braining this guy with a lead pipe?  Again, believability seemed to be thrown out the window here. Tyra was hellbent on going to college, even after meeting Cash. He’s shown in the past that he is sort of sketchy (remember the girl showing up on her door asking for his child support). Plus, she’s really been on the “I refuse to be a helpless woman anymore” power trip. But when Cash shows her that he can’t be relied on by being ambiguous on fidelity during a six month rodeo trip, she abandons all her hopes, all her dreams, a good portion of her dignity, and any respect I had for her character by going with him. Well that’s perfectly feasible.

In other plot lines, Tami tries to convince Coach Taylor to buy her dream home. Coach tells her that they can’t afford it, and she finally comes to her senses and tells him she’s just glad he considered her a partner in the process. MMmmkkay. No sign of Lyla, Landry, his new lesbian band mate, and J.D. McCoy’s plot line. But I’m sure we’ll see them all next episode!!

Listen, I know that this show is fiction. I really do. But it’s not science fiction. Using unbelievability is no substitute for substance, and these dramatic plot swings just don’t reflect the characters and the way that the writers have worked to build them up. It’s like they’re trying everything to replicate the magic that was season one, and avoid the unnecessary drama that overwhelmed season two, although they’re starting to lean towards it. Moreover, even though Street wasn’t one of my or the Cutter’s favorite characters, he’s another one they’ve killed off on the show, making me again fear that they’re writing this show to an end, with no hope of a fourth season. I hope that’s not the case.

No sir, not gonna do it, not gonna Twitter

It came to pass, one morning about five or six years ago, I woke up incredibly hung over. Since I was in no mood to do…anything, I decided to finally take the social media plunge that all my friends were talking about and make a page on Myspace. It was easy, and within no time I was connecting with friends I hadn’t seen or heard from in ages.

Fast forward to about three years ago. My girlfriend at the time and I had just gone to a surprise birthday party at a friend of a friend’s house. She took a bunch of pictures, which I asked her to put on my favorite social networking tool, Myspace. I found out that she was not a Myspace person; she got her social media fix through Facebook. “But I’m a Myspace person,” I opined, “I have no desire to open an account with two different social networking options.” She would not relent, so we came to a compromise: I’d join Facebook…if she signed me up and put in all of my necessary information to create my profile (I think I was feeling even lazier that day than I was the day I originally signed up for Myspace). Within four months, I had completely abandoned Myspace, and decided that Facebook was a much better option for me.

There were a couple of factors in this decision. I think that Myspace, with its many skins and embeddable content (it’s pretty much just HTML code; I studied that crap in college) got pretty overwhelming. People would embed songs in your comments that would overlap with the songs you had embedded to launch in your page (a rather embarrassing example of this is when my roommate at the time had the song “Milkshake” play every time his page loaded; it was much louder than the 311 track he had chosen to play on his page). People got kind of overloaded by all the options and page themes and music players that you could put on your page. Facebook just seemed…well, more grown up. It was more about the “networking,” and less about the “social.”

Fast forward to today. Over the last couple of weeks, a new social networking tool that has been around for quite a while has come across my radar: Twitter. I know two things for a fact about twittering (the verbal equivilant of “to Twitter”):

1. it’s pretty much just like the “status message” portion of Facebook (i.e. Sweaty is writing on his blog instead of enjoying the windy weather outside)” and
2. EVERYONE and their mother is twittering.

The latter notion is evidenced in a couple of stories that have popped up in my reading. I read in Rolling Stone magazine that Rep. Pete Hoekstra violated some national security rules when he twittered about his movements during a trip to Iraq and Afghanistan. John McCain recently added himself to the growing number of Congresspeople who Twitter. In fact, while I was watching President Obama’s address to Congress, Anderson Cooper reflected that many Congresspeople were twittering during Obama’s address. After all, listening to the leader of the free world isn’t as important as letting people know you’re listening to the leader of the free world. The reason I decided to post on this topic today is that when I walked by the front desk at my office, at glanced over at CNN, they were advertising the Twitter address of the reporter who was broadcasting the news at that moment. Talk about media convergence!

The popularity of Twitter has undoubtably been helped by the advancement in the last two years of data capability of and increased accessibility of portable devices such as Blackberries and other dataphones (by the way, you remember when we could only call people on our cell phones? Like four years ago?) Now it’s easier than ever to Twitter on the go; you don’t need to be by a computer to do so; you just need to have your cell phone, which most people, if they are like me, rank right up there with their wallets and purses as things they absolutely need when they leave the house.

I for one, will diverge from the group when it comes to Twittering. I have neither the desire nor the sense of techno-voyeurism to necessitate something like Twittering. In other words, I don’t need people to know what I’m doing 24 hours a day. Hell, I have a hard enough time updating my Facebook status more than 3, 4 times a week. Sometimes my life is just not that cool. Besides, what do people who twitter do when they’re in the shower? Getting dressed? “Indisposed”?

So I guess my first, last, and only twitter status is that “Sweaty is drawing a line in the sand: no twitter for me.” I will leave you with one of my favorite YouTube comedians LisaNova, and her take on Twitter:

Boy, did I get that wrong

Didn’t see that one coming…

Where Will T.O. End Up?

Forgive me ESPN, for I have sinned. I got all my news in the afternoon. Ray Lewis resigned with the Ravens. Matt Birk was also signed to replace Jason Brown at Center. They saved a boatload of money in the signing of both players. The Mountaineer basketball team won against DuPaul, and I was actually able to get out of work early enough…to catch the second half. I figured I had my pertinent sports information wrapped up for the day, so I went ahead and tuned to Showtime, to watch Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist. Ever notice how none of the sequels to “The Exorcist” were as good as the original? That movie definitely followed that trend. After the movie, I went to sleep…without watching Sportscenter.

Boy was that a mistake!

When I got into my car this morning, I found out the NFL news du jour: Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Terrell Owens became former Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Terrell Owens, being released from the team last night. SHOCKER!!! I immediately texted my former room mate, a die hard Dallas Cowboys fan, to get his reaction to the news. It seems like the reaction I’ve gotten from much of the Dallas fan base: unabashed relief. Besides having to take a cap hit, the team that many pegged as Super Bowl contenders last year finally got rid of its biggest distraction. I think that Peter King summed it up best in his column, saying that the biggest winner from T.O.’s release is his former quarterback, Tony Romo. But what now for one of the top players in the NFL, one whose skill and talent is only matched by his volatility in the locker room and size of his ego?

A quick side note here: I’ve been following T.O. ever since he was signed by the Ravens. Yes, T.O. was once a Raven, but only in principle; he was traded to the Ravens, but refused to go to the team because he was afraid they would not give him a good chance to get to the Super Bowl (with Kyle Boller under center and Brian Billick calling the plays, I can’t really disagree with him). Still, here’s a guy who, over time, has proven that he’s a deal with the football devil for any club who signs him: he has unlimited play making ability at his position, indeed is probably one of the top players at his position in the game. Yet, within two-three seasons, he will tear your club apart. He’s Pandora’s box wrapped in a football jersey.

Anyways, I thought I’d break down the NFL based on their likelihood of signing T.O. Profootballtalk.com has put together a list of teams that have publicly come out and said they will not pursue Owens. Some look genuine, some could just be posturing. Get your popcorn ready…

Me and Profootballtalk.com agree:

Dallas Cowboys – I wouldn’t put it past Jerry Jones to release a player and then resign him. But not this time.
Baltimore Ravens – I was so happy that my home team decided not to pursue this head case…again.
Atlanta Falcons – They know first hand the damage that one player can do to a locker room. He wore #7 in Atlanta. Besides, Matt Ryan has shown that the Falcons didn’t waste all those first round picks on wide receivers; they just needed a QB that could actually throw the ball to them.
Philadelphia Eagles - They’re still trying to get the bad taste out of their mouth from T.O.’s first visit to the City of Brotherly Love. Besides, if Owens came back to Philly, they might have to boo someone other than Donovan McNabb!
New York Jets - I think that the New York J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS are still smarting from the last time they signed an overpriced free agent. His last name was Farve. Plus, on a home town note, I think Rex Ryan has too much class to stoop to signing Owens.
Tennessee Titans - They could definitely use Owens’ play making ability at the WR spot; a weakness for the team. But did you see what I wrote above about Rex Ryan? That goes double for Jeff Fisher. And triple for his mullet.
New Orleans Saints - It’s a problem of philosophy. Drew Brees operates best when he spread the ball around, not hone in on one wide out. Anyone who had a Saints WR on their fantasy squad last year could tell you that. Besides, I think that they need to turn their free agent spending this off-season towards that defense.
Cleveland Browns - The Browns already have one wide receiver that drops balls and makes headaches in the locker room in Braylon Edwards. With an unproven quarterback, and Eric Mangini, I think they’ll play it safe and stay away from T.O.
Miami Dolphins – If he went there, he’d probably make a new variation of the Wildcat formation where he throws it to himself. He could get passing and receiving yards. It would be great! He loves him some him! Oh wait; Bill Parcells is still GM there. Snowball’s chance in hell.

And now, for the rest of the teams (I marked the ones that said they wouldn’t go after Owens which I believe was posturing with an asterisk [*]).  I decided against the notion of Terrell Owens picking his team this time (i.e. him deciding against going to a small market team; let’s face it, I think at this point, he’ll go to any team that will take a chance on him).

AFC
AFC North
Pittsburgh Steelers - As much as I would love to see the Steelers have a locker room in turmoil, the Steelers have shown they can win without a play maker like Owens. Probability Grade: F
Cincinnati Bengals - The Bengals collect players with character issues the way I collected Pogs in middle school. I didn’t know what to do with them, they were pretty expensive, and they really didn’t do anything for me in the end. Same with the Bengals high-risk free agent additions. Still, I think with Chad “Ocho Cinco” Johnson, if T.O. came aboard, Carson Palmer’s head would be spinning. Grade: C-

AFC East
New England Patriots – This would be a perfect situation for Terrell Owens. A coach who doesn’t get distracted easily by players. A quarterback with ice water flowing through his veins. And an organization that’s used to winning. One problem: they’ve got a wide receiver by the name of Randy Moss. Who has been a model citizen for that team. He has done something T.O. has not: grown up. Oh, and that Randy Moss guy?? He hates Terrell Owens. The only reason the Patriots haven’t come out and said they aren’t going after Owens is because the Patriots play their cards close to their vest. Probability Grade: F
Buffalo Bills – God, this team could really use Terrell Owens. Their wide receiver core seems to have caught an infestation of the injury bug. But I don’t see Owens going to any franchise that might move to Canada any time soon. The only reason this grade isn’t lower is because the Bills always find ways to shoot themselves in the foot, and signing T.O. would be just that. Probability Grade: D+

AFC South
Jacksonville Jaguars – Again, if T.O. could pick his team, he wouldn’t go here. But I don’t know if that’s going to be a possibility if no other team wants him. The Jaguars aren’t as bad as advertised; they just had a horrible string of injuries along their offensive line. If Gerrard gets time, I’m sure he could throw the ball up for Owens to catch. I might be crazy, but…Probability Grade: C+
Houston Texans - The Texans are another team, like the Saints, that have needs other than the position that Owens plays. I don’t see them making a move for him; they’ve now got the best wide receiver in the state of Texas in Andre Johnson; who does it with class, and is quite possibly the most underrated wide receiver not only in the Lone Star State, but in the entire NFL. Probability Grade: D
Indianapolis Colts - Before I wrote this section, I called up my buddy Bob, a sports guru whose also a big Colts fan. I asked Bob what he thought of T.O. going to Indianapolis. “I sure hope not,” was Bob’s reply. It’s the perfect storm for T.O.: great quarterback (who by the way, would not take any shit from T.O.), an amazing offense, and a great compliment in Reggie Wayne. Oh, and the Colts just let Marvin Harrison go. Still, I think Anthony Gonzalez is more than capable at wide out to replace Harrison, in skill if not in legacy. Besides, if Owens went to Indianapolis, they’d be unstoppable in the AFC. If classy Tony Dungy was still the head coach, this grade would be lower. Probability Grade: B-

AFC West
San Diego Super-Chargers* - Phillip Rivers has the arm to get the ball to T.O. down the field. I’m not sold on Vincent Jackson, and Chris Chambers would thrive as a second receiver instead of the leading guy. Plus, I think the Chargers know that their window of dominance in the AFC West will only last so long; we all saw what happened to their NFC regional counterparts the Seahawks. Probability Grade: B
Kansas City Chiefs - There are so many reasons that T.O. isn’t going to the Chiefs, it’s not worth listing (MY TIME IS IMPORTANT, DAMNIT). Let me give you the main one: the Chiefs are clearly rebuilding, aren’t about to make a title run any time soon, and there’s so many other areas of need that a headache like Owens is highly implausible. Probability Grade: F
Denver Broncos - Veeerrrryyyy interesting. If Brandon Marshall doesn’t come back from his (latest) run in with the law, the way that the Broncos are bringing in free agents, I could see Terrell Owens going here. Let’s face it, the Broncos offense is explosive; and Jay Cutler, despite his disagreements with the new head coach in Denver, does know how to sling the ball down the field. Also, I remember when T.O. left Philadelphia, one of the speculations was he was going to end up in Denver, before he spurned them for the Cowboys. Probability Grade: A-. They’d be my highest probability in the division (and the conference, for that matter) if not for the Broncos arch-rival….
Oakland Raiders - I’m definitely drinking the speculation Kool-Aid that Terrell Owens could end up in the silver & black next season. Oakland loves players with perceived disciplinary problems. Al Davis likes to sign veterans, and he loves signing players who are considered bad apples around the league. I’ve always said, “old players don’t die, they go to the Raiders.” Besides, name me one wide receiver on the Raiders who made an impact last season. Yeah, I can’t think of one either. Probability Grade: A+

NFC
NFC North
Detroit Lions – I seriously think that if Detroit was the only team that went after Owens, Owens would rather retire than go there. I seriously do. The only way that T.O. would end up in Detroit is if he went back to school for a super-senior year, and then Detroit rehired Matt Millen as their general manager, and then with the first pick in the 2010 NFL draft, the Detroit Lions select…ANOTHER WIDE RECEIVER!! It worked so well for Millen thus far, why not stick with it? In all seriousness though, I really think one of the three teams that formerly employed Owens will get him before Detroit does. Probability Grade: F-
Minnesota Vikings* – After drafting Bernard Berrian, I think that Minnesota has found their answer for a wide receiver to stretch the field. They’ve got some developing players at that position too; so I don’t think the Vikings really fit the mold of a team looking to sign Owens. Besides, after former Vikings players made the terms “Love Boat” and “Whizzinator” common terms in NFL circles, I think that the Vikings would like to stay away from players with so-called character issues. Unless Owens can play quarterback, this one’s a long shot. Probability Grade: D-
Green Bay Packers – I could see Owens going here, but the Packers aren’t really a me-first team (unless that “me” is Brett Farve). Another team that I think needs to concentrate on defense before looking for another play making wide receiver. Probability Grade: D+
Chicago Bears – The Chicago Bears are my official darkhorse in the Terrell Owens suitors process. They have play makers on defense; and they could definitely use someone to go deep besides Devin Hester, who, let’s face it Bears fans, is much more dangerous on special teams than lined up as a wide out. They missed Mushin Muhammad more last season more than they thought they would; and a wide out like T.O. would be a combination of two recent wide receiver losses of Chicago: Muhammad’s size and Berrian’s separation skills. Kyle Orton would be a suitable quarterback to get Owens the ball, and I could see “da Bears” taking drastic measures to get back to the Super Bowl before that great defense disintegrates. Probability Grade: B+

NFC South
Tampa Bay Buccaneers - The Bucs just dumped a lot of older players, and appear to be a team that is looking to rebuild and get younger. Bringing in a wide receiver that’s getting up there in age doesn’t appear to fit that team-building philosophy. Probability Grade: F
Carolina Panthers - They’ve got the running game in place. Now all they need is a wide receiver to compliment Steve Smith. Could you imagine the touchdown celebrations with both Owens and Steve Smith taking part in the process? I’m thinking something like a three act reenactment of “Hamlet” in the end zone here. Probability Grade: C

NFC West
Arizona Cardinals – The Super Bowl runners up don’t need another head case at wide receiver. They have Anquan Boldin for that. In all honesty, whether Boldin stays or goes, the Cardinals have too much talent to pick up a player like Owens. Kurt Warner has been a unifying factor for that team, and they’ve gone through too much to let a player like Owens tear apart what they’ve built. Final point is only two words: Larry Fitzgerald. ‘Nuff said. NEXT QUESTION!! Probability Grade: D-
Seattle Seahawks – Do you remember when Jerry Rice played for Seattle? Wasn’t that horrible? I mean, here’s the G.O.A.T. in the twilight of his career doing spot duty in the slot. How horrible was that. I’ll give Jerry credit though: he didn’t complain, despite the fact I think even he realized he was a shell of his former self. Oh wait, this is a discussion about Owens. Forgettaboutit. Despite the fact that Seattle’s receiver core is crappy despite the signing of T.J. Houshmandzadeh, Jim Mora Jr. has history of dealing with headaches in the locker room. He was the coach of the Atlanta Falcons during the Michael Vick era, after all. Probability Grade: D
San Francisco 49ers* – Yes, I know Terrell Owens left his heart in San Francisco along with a bad taste in many 49er’s fans mouths. But if new head coach Mike Singletary is considering bring in Michael Vick for a try out, there’s no reason he’d blow off the Bay Area’s prodigal son. Probability Grade: C-
St. Louis Rams* - One second please, I’ve got to finish up a letter real quick:
Dear Tory “Big Game” Holt,
Please come to the Ravens. We’ve got a quarterback for the first time in…well, team history that can throw the ball downfield and get you your touches. Unlike his predecessor, he can distinguish which players play for his team, and which ones play for the other team when he makes throws. Baltimore would embrace you like Old Bay on a crabcake.
Best regards,
Sweaty
Tory Holt leaving does mean that the Rams are woefully thin at wide receiver. For the right price, perhaps they could have the honor of being the next franchise torn apart by Hurricane Owens. Probability Grade: C+

NFC East
New York Giants* – When I first started writing this, my probability grade for the Giants going after Terrell Owens was sky high. After all, Eli Manning could lose the player that he locks onto every single game a tall, lanky wide out that gets separation in the end zone by using his height, and gets himself into legal trouble by using his gun. However, as I was researching the correct spelling of Anquan Boldin’s first name on Google, I came across an article in the New York Daily News stating that the Giants are searching for other options to replace Plexico Burress, namely Boldin and Braylon Edwards. That said, if they don’t get either of those wide outs, I could see them courting Owens just the same. Probability Grade: A-
Washington Redskins* – Boy, is Dan Snyder kicking himself right now. He just did his typical “spend money like it’s going out of style” spree at the beginning of free agency. I think that he thinks that a salary cap is something that accountants wear to keep the sun out of their eyes. But seriously, if he had just waited a couple of days before splurging like Britney Spears at a Sizzler, he could have seriously landed a player that not only would have sold him lots of jerseys (which I’m convinced Daniel Snyder’s sole purpose in life in owning the Washington Redskins and has a tremendous impact on his free agency wheelings and dealings) but he could have had the chance to use one of the Cowboys greatest weapons against them at least four to six times in coming seasons. That being said, I can still see Dan Snyder throwing his salary cap into an alternate universe and pursue Owens nonetheless. Probability Factor: A

Friday Night Lights Recap: Episode 6 and 7

Episodes 6 and 7 of Friday Night Lights were I think the worst, followed by the best, episodes this season. Episode six went a direction that was dangerously close to the formula that truly alienated their fans by making the show something that it truly was not: a lack of football, too much drama, and short, confusing story lines that really muddled the characters they involved. Mercifully, season two was ended by the writer’s strike; otherwise, that formula could have led FNL’s fans to stop caring about the show and not have brought about season three. Episode 7 was a return to the new direction that the writers are forging with this season three; along with what worked best about season two: the recruitment of one of the show’s stars.

Even so, I am very worried about a couple of issues this season. It really does seem that the writers and direction of the show is that this season is the final one. There doesn’t seem to be much progress with introducing new characters; instead, many of the shows central characters are being written off into anonymity. Anywho, here’s the recap.

Episode six was mainly about J.D. McCoy, the new freshman phenom of the Dillon Panthers. After Coach Taylor sees that J.D. is being hazed by some of the upperclassmen, he encourages Tim Riggins (who Red, like every other red-blooded woman who watches this show, has developed a crush on) to take the new quarterback under his wing. To Tim, this means getting McCoy $hitfaced at a party after a game (SHOCKER!). Side point here: Jeremy Sumpter, the actor who plays J.D. McCoy, needs to learn how to act drunk. He acted like a lot of things in the party scenes: a fool, someone who forgot to take their drugs for ADHD, “that guy” at a party who is just craving a laugh before going home and crying himself to sleep into his pillow, but not drunk. Anyways, the story line in episode six that was carried over into episode seven was that J.D.’s father is way to hard on him, both on and off the field. Episode six was even titled ”It ain’t easy being J.D. McCoy.” Well shoot, they’ve got that right: J.D. lives in a mansion, earned a starting QB nod his freshman year, has parents who want to keep him away from drugs and alcohol, and has a hottie for a mom. Must be really tough. I mean, I can understand them saying that J.D.’s dad puts a lot of pressure on him on the football field. But if Dillon is the way that it has been classified for…oh, the entire series, I think that most of these football players, at least the ones who hadn’t just moved to Dillon, have parents that are the same way. I mean, come on, what if Lyla was actually a guy. You know that Buddy Garrity would have his son playing football and be just as hard on him as J.D.’s dad is on him. Didn’t exactly have me pulling out the Kleenexes for J.D.’s situation. But I digress….

Speaking of quarterbacks, in what was the only thing I liked about episode six, former QB 1 Matt Saracen finally patched things up and is back together with Julie Taylor. In fact, an outing by the lake that Matt initiates with Julie to…well, help forget the fact that he is…well, former QB 1, things got hot and heavy. We don’t know what degree of hot and heaviness they went to, since both characters started kissing, then rolled around on the ground and froze before the shot went to black. Did they just make out? Force a turnover? Convert a field goal? Score a touchdown? (my football equivalency for the different “base” classification that most people use to describe make outs). We will never know, but they were making eyes at church, right before J.D.’s dad made his son confess to Coach Taylor that *gasp* he got drunk at a party. And we didn’t find anything else out in episode seven because Matt (who like his mother has been in the last two episodes; she might be the first auxillary character causualty this season) COMPLETELY disappeared in episode seven. I think there was like one three second shot of him glowering on the sidelines as J.D. McCoy actually did good in the second half of the game.

Meanwhile, Tami Taylor took a backseat in episode 6, but came out strong in episode 7, as she convinces a family to keep their son playing football as fullback after he didn’t tell them. I like how they are developing her in her new role as principal, especially after they really didn’t have her doing much of nothing after losing whole debate over the Dillon Panther football team getting a jumbo-tron.

Jason Street, in the meantime, is working hard with the Riggins brothers and Herc to flip Buddy Garrity’s old house. After Street has to deal with their sloth in episode 6, they completes the rennovations (with some unspoken help from Coach Taylor), then another argument ensues about the asking price. I’m glad they sold it at the end of episode 7, because that storyline was getting old. Meanwhile, former-former QB 1 gets a lead for work as an agent that would move him closer to where his baby’s mama is living with her folks,  and it looks like Street will be the next former Dillon Panther to say good bye to the cast.

Street’s former employer and former fiance, Buddy Garrity and Lyla, respectively, took the other Garrity children camping. The two younger Garrity’s were bratty towards their father the entire time, and rebellious to almost an unbelievable level. Thing turn around, however, when the Garrity children are taken to the Panther’s football game, and the moral of this story is that football brings families together, even ones with estranged children.

Meanwhile, Landry thinks he has a new squeeze in his life with the new female bassist for his band, so he goes ahead and patches things up with Tyra. He then finds out his thought-to-be-love-interest bats for the other team. After a nice pep-talk from Tami (again, playing the mother role to the entire cast that she and Coach Taylor do so well) he feels better, and continues to jam. Hopefully, another distracting storyline put to rest.

Tyra, on the other hand, had a big surprise in episode 6 when one of her boyfriend Cash’s old flames shows up at her door looking for him and asking for child support. Cash reassures Tyra that his supposed baby’s mama is only a crazed groupie, but I wasn’t sold. Unfortunately, we never found out anything else about this, because it was never discussed in the next episode. I’m starting to get confused by all of these auxillary characters fading in and out of the episodes.

One character who is a constant, in large part because he keeps that “women, 18-35″ demographic tuning in, is Tim Riggins. Besides helping Street flip Buddy’s old house, and the aforementioned tutoring of J.D. McCoy, Riggins has continued to garner interest from colleges, most notably Oklahoma (sidenote: remember when I thought it was ironic how the show is filmed in Austin, home of the Texas Longhorns, yet Smash got a walk-on at Texas A&M, one of the Longhorn’s fiercest rivals? Okay, well Riggins is getting interest from the Longhorn’s BIGGEST rivals. Irony, thy name is Friday Night Lights). Street helps Tim’s brother Billy put together a highlight tape, complete with touching testimonies by Billy and Coach Taylor. I’ll admit, it was touching. Part of one of the reasons that I liked episode 7 so much.

Ok, I definitely need to start updating these on a episode-by-episode basis. Until next time, clear eyes, full hearts….

Weekend Recap: Sick, sick, sick

As I mentioned in my last weekend recap, I thought that I was coming down with a cold on Monday. Ultimately, my fear was recognized, because all of last week I was suffering from a head cold. I had your normal symptoms: congestion, sneezing, coughing, etc, etc. I had planned on Wednesday to take a sick day on Friday, perhaps even taking a half day on Thursday. Due to client obligations, I came in on Thursday for the whole day, vowing to myself to take a sick day on Friday. Then more stuff came up, and I vowed to take a half day on Friday. It turned out what was originally planned as a two day hiatus from work and then a half day hiatus, ultimately became me getting out of work on time. Yaaayyy….

Anywho, because I was sick, I was unable to go up to Dover, PA to celebrate my friend’s birthday. Many people do not know that there is such a thing as Dover, PA; most only know of Dover, DE. There are actually 26 Dover’s in these great United States; and six more worldwide, so it’s much more plentiful than most people are aware. I know Dover for two things other than being where my good friend resides:

1. Dover’s school board is the subject of a famous Federal Court case regarding “intelligent design.” Intelligent design is pretty much an underhanded way that certain religious faiths tried to get schools to teach creationism in the classroom. Holier than thou, my ass….
2. It’s the home of a police force that like to pull over people with out-of-state plates because they dare to be on the road in the fine township of Dover on New Year’s Eve, and then accuse them for speeding after failing to nab them for drunk driving when said out-of-towners are perfectly sober and request a breathalyzer if said police don’t believe them about their state of sobriety. Oh, and said police don’t bother to show up for court when those certain out of towners take a day off work to contest the aforementioned trumped up speeding charges. Can you guess which blogger this happened to? But I digress….

Anyways, I had planned to take Red to meet one of my good friends from back in my college days, but since my friend just had a baby and was dealing with some health issues of her own, we decided to reschedule the birthday festivities, and I decided to pump myself with Zicam and Vitamin C. The Vitamin C was a recommendation of Red, the Zicam was my mother’s suggestion. Both of them worked well, and by Sunday, I was feeling better…just one day late for the party. 

So, instead of a fun filled weekend with my friend and Red in Dover, most of it was spent watching movies and college basketball. There were some highlights and lowlights to my viewing:

Highlight: Despite a close contest at times thanks to some tough defense, the WVU men’s basketball team beat Rutgers this weekend. Big ups to the freshmen on the team; they’re certainly coming into their own. The latest projections have WVU as a six seed in the upcoming NCAA tournament. Not bad for a team picked to finish in the bottom half of the league (again) in the preseason poll.

Lowlight: No Country for Old Men. I like my movies with a dash of symbolism. A smidgen, a tad, maybe even a dollop. I don’t need a whole half hour’s worth of symbolism. Not one bit. I thought the movie was great up until the last thirty minutes. And without giving too much away, I hate movies that end like that. I only compare it this one because it was garnering Oscar buzz in many of the same categories, but I thought “There Will Be Blood,” was much better.

Highlight: Watching Maryland pull off an improbable upset of North Carolina on their home court. You know, I don’t directly root for Maryland. But both my parents went there. The majority of my friends who didn’t go to WVU went there. Hell, I’ve been to more games at the Comcast Center than I have the Coliseum (explanation: my old roommate could get tickets a lot from his dad, who was a big sponsor, and I’ve seen as many WVU games at the Verizon Center as I have at both the aforementioned venues combined [two against Georgetown, one during last year's NCAA tournament when the Mountaineers played Arizona; record at each venue: Coliseum - 0-1; Comcast - 1-1; Verizon Center - 2-0]). Hell, I used to live 10 minutes from the Comcast Center in Parental Guidance County. But most of all, I love watching an underdog. And Maryland was definitely the underdog in this contest. They didn’t play that way for the last 10 minutes, but they were. And even though their chances of going to the NCAA tournament are still slim even after a victory of the #3 team in the land, kudos to them, and kudos to Gary Williams for saving his job this year.

Lowlight: The Oscars. Oh wait, I didn’t watch the Oscars yesterday. Tell ya what: one of my coworkers actually attended the Oscars last night (no fake). Let’s say she watched it enough for the both of us.

The ultimate highlight of the weekend was finally seeing Red on Sunday night after sequestering myself from her all week to prevent her from catching my cold and having a fish and chips dinner with her at a genuine fish and chips restaurant near her house. So that was my weekend in a longer than anticipated blog post. Since I’m better, and Red’s got us going to a kick ass party this weekend, I think next weekend recap should be a little better.

Weekend Recap: Valentine’s Day, Shout Outs to NoVa’s Finest Dining Establishments, and the Alexandria Triangle

Since my roommate is using the living room, which contains the big screen television, to practice jujitsu, and I’m not feeling so good, I figured it would be a great time to recap what was an awesome weekend. It started out awesome since it was both President’s Day weekend (last legitimate three day weekend for a long long time) and Valentine’s Day weekend. Earlier that week, since I had absolutely no clue where to take Red for V-Day, I was very grateful that one of my coworkers introduced me to OpenTable.com. The site is amazing; you can reserve tables all over; and I was able to get a reservation at Sette Bello, a swanky upscale Italian restaurant in downtown Arlington. So I was able to get reservations, and since I had already gotten Red her present a while ago, on Friday, I was able to sit back, relax, and watch West Virginia’s basketball team demolish Villanova on ESPN. It was a great way to start the weekend.

Saturday was Valentine’s Day. It was quite nice because I had the entire day to run around, get flowers, get a vase, wrap Red’s gift, sign the card, do two loads of laundry,  and then the rest of the day I generally relaxed. Red came over, and then we headed to the restaurant. The only downer of the evening was we had a little bit of a wait at the restaurant; they were still seating reservations that were reserved before us. Despite that, we came at a good time, by the time we got to the hostess stand, there were at least 10-12 people waiting behind us. Since we had a bit of a wait, Red and I decided to get some drinks at the bar and do our gift exchange. Red seemed to really like the earrings and necklace I got her, and I went absolutely apeshit over her present: a WVU Pat White home jersey. Since I didn’t have a WVU jersey yet, I was ecstatic. Dinner was really good as well; both of us got pasta, and though I wasn’t drinking any because of my stomach, I tried some of Red’s wine, which was really good too. Since we couldn’t decide on any dessert that sounded that good, we went to Giant and found a really great deal on ice cream too. Back at home, we both had some champagne, watched a movie, and…well, I won’t go into all the specifics, but it was a very nice Valentine’s Day. And Red wasn’t even jealous that Mrs. Cutter got a snuggie!

On Sunday, since we both had an extra day off, Red and I decided to make the most of our extra day off…by doing absolutely nothing. We got up and decided to get some brunch. Since the Route 29 diner was so packed that we couldn’t get a parking spot, we decided to test our luck at a hole-in-the-wall called “Linda’s Cafe.” Boy were we glad we did. Both of us got omlettes, mine was pretty much everything in it and the kitchen sink, while Red got a chili and cheese omlette. Like most of the times I eat out with Red somewhere new, after sampling her omlette, I immediately had food envy. After we got done, we came back to my place and watched the movie “Juno,” which was pretty damn good. Other than that, it was a whole lotta laziness.

On Monday, I helped Red look for a couch that could fold out to a queen size bed for when her family came to NoVa to visit. She perused all of the different ads in the paper, and really had her heart set on a La-Z-Boy. We went to the one that had just opened up in nearby Fairfax. One problem with a new store is new inventory, and new staff, as we soon found out. Since they were no help at all, and were only showcasing two models of pull-out couch (neither of which were to Red’s specification), after some discussion, we decided to go to the one in Alexandria, which was quite a ways away. During the drive over, Red discovered she lost her watch, which caused her some distress. Once we finally got to Alexandria, her GPS turn-by-turn navigator started going a bit haywire with the directions. It kept on directing us to make U-turns, and sent us to the middle of a center street in a very residential part of town. I tried the GPS turn-by-turn on my cell phone, which did the same thing. It was like a Bermuda Triangle, but in Alexandria.  Half an hour later, and after a couple of calls to the store we were trying to get to for clarification on how we should get there, we finally found our way. And it paid off too, because Red found the model she wanted, and the color she wanted, and got it financed quite nicely. For about what I’m paying for my auto insurance, she’ll have fully paid off her new awesome couch. I was very happy that she was happy, and on top of that, while she was dealing with the financing people, I got to sample all the recliners that that La-Z-Boy had to offer. If I had a beer and the game on, I might have had Red leave me there. Anywho, after earning major boyfriend points in La-Z-Boy, and entering a sweepstakes to win a free recliner before we departed, we ended our weekend with dinner at Chevy’s, where we ordered too much food, I ordered too many happy hour drink specials, and Red graciously drove me home. Unfortunately, I think I came down with a cold yesterday, but still, the weekend was nice while it lasted.

Massive Friday Night Lights Recap: Episodes 3-5

So, I’ve tried to have a consistent Friday Night Lights recap on this blog. That has gone to the wayside thanks to the Super Bowl, A-Rod on steroids, etc, etc, etc. In an effort to catch up, here’s my recap of episodes three through five…

Five episodes which include scenes involving football…and I jizz, in my pants.

Coach Eric Taylor is embroiled in a quarterback controversy…and it boiled over. The debate between JD McCoy and Matt Saracen came to a head, starting when Matt could not successfully run a QB sneak to win a game (a scene that mirrored the Friday Night Lights movie, where the Permian QB couldn’t quite get the sneak against Dallas Carter across the goal line, Dallas Carter wins, and the Friday Night Lights movie forever burned itself into my conscience as one of my favorite movies). While the annual football bar-b-que takes place at the McCoy mansion, Coach Taylor is cornered and pressured to start McCoy by McCoy’s father and Buddy. The loss makes Coach Taylor consider start both quarterbacks, which leads to disaster. Finally, McCoy is handed the reigns in episode five, when he helps lead the Panthers down the field to victory, though it is Saracen who wins the game with a decisive QB sneak, this time successful. As Saracen walks off the field, he knows his days as QB 1 are over (for now). Honestly, JD McCoy’s characterization in these past couple of episodes remind me of how the color commentators treated Tim Tebow while calling this past National Championship…”He’s such a great guy”….”was on a Mormon mission helping lepers in Somalia”….”makes Mother Teresa look like a two bit hussie.” It will be interesting to see how this quarterback change develops, and affects both the team and Matt Saracen’s character.

Speaking of Matt, looks like (former) QB 1 is starting to rekindle his flame with coaches daughter Julie. He sees her in Applebee’s (note: have you noticed how Applebee’s has cut back its plugs as the economy has gone down the crapper? I mean, I know these episodes were shown on Direct TV before being seen publicly on NBC, but even then, we are seeing less and less Applebee’s, where will Landry’s dad get his quesadilla burgers from?), gets a ride home from her, does his homework with her at his place. Is a romance rekindling? One thing’s for sure: there’s a new blond in Matt’s life, and it’s not Jules…it’s Matt’s mom. No mention of her in two previous seasons; I thought she was dead. But no, she’s back, and just trying to lend a hand (FNL drinking game rule: drink whenever Matt’s mom says she “just wants to lend a hand.” You’ll be $hitfaced by the time you see those stupid Orville Redenbacher popcorn promos NBC runs). If you ask me, Matt’s mom will be like Tammi Taylor’s sister in season two, and will probably be gone by the midpoint of the season. Although, she might be a catalyst to finally bringing back and/or resolving the 400 pound gorilla in the Matt Saracen household plotline: Matt’s dad.

In the world of Tammi Taylor, principal/Taylor family matriarch/coaches wife, she loses her battle to get scoreboard funding directed towards the crappy scholastic budget of Dillon High School. I was rooting for a jumbo tron too. She does, however, gain an unlikely ally in JD McCoy’s mother, whose motives seem pure, though it does bring Coach Taylor in more contact with JD’s father, who he’s not too fond of (see: episode three where the team bar-b-que gets shifted to the McCoy mansion instead of the Taylor household). Nice that Tammi has someone to lament to, besides, you know, her sister.

While we’re on the subject of the blond trinity of FNL, let’s talk about Tyra, who’s swept off her feet by rodeo rider Cash (I wonder if Tyra now hums the chorus of C.R.E.A.M. by Wu Tang Clan as she strolls down the halls of Dillon High School). Her new involvement with Cash even convinces her to completely break things off with Landry, making him even more obsolete this season. This newest bad influences on the bad-girl-turned-good-girl-turned-class president has made Tyra a bad-girl-turned-good-girl-turned-class-president-turned-bad-girl once more, and she’s starting to resort to the ways that Tammi tried so hard to rehab her from: skipping class and shunning school. It’s looking like Cash might have a dark side in him; we’ll have to wait and see.

Intermission poll: who do you think will be written out of the show first:

1. JD McCoy’s Mom
2. Saracen’s Mom
3. Tyra’s New Squeeze Cash

Post a comment below and let me know what you think!

Back to the recap: the era of Smash Williams is officially over in Dillon. After pondering whether or not to take a managerial position at the ice cream shop, he sticks with Coach Taylor, and accepts a walk-on try out at Texas A&M. The irony of this in real life is that the show is filmed in Austin, home of the Texas Longhorns, who absolutely abhor the Texas A&M Aggies. Anywho, Smash wins over the Aggies coach, gets a spot on the team, and ends his time at Dillon with a touching scene of him playing a game of touch football with his old teammates. A fitting and classy end to one of the more colorful characters the show had. 

This leaves Dillon with one feature tailback, a certain Tim Riggins. Last we saw Tim, he was trying to be all that he could be to impress Lyla. Although Lyla has seemingly disappeared after episode three (good riddance), Tim has been very busy with what the mafia would deem ”family business.” He helped his big brother Billy (who in the past two seasons has tried his hardest to be a good influence/father figure Tim never had) break into an abandoned industrial area to steal spools of copper wire to raise capital for his wedding to Tyra’s older sister Mindy (I wonder what her stage name is). Great piece of brothering there, Billy. Things go south in a hurry when Billy tries to sell the wire to the meth dealer that he and Tim stole a crapload of money from, and when that deal go sour (let that be a lesson in Business 101: when you do business with a meth dealer, things tend to go sour), the Riggins brothers once again drive away in a hurry with said meth dealer shooting at them (second time in the last two seasons that that’s happened). You can almost hear the voiceover guy from the Dukes of Hazard in the background: “Looks like those Riggins boys are in a dilly of a pickle again. Better spool it on out of there.” The one thing I can say about this intertwining of Billy and Tim’s storylines is that it could show Tim the dark side of what could happen to him if he doesn’t get out of Dillon, what his life could become, a life lesson that I’m sure will be drowned and soon forgotten in an alcohol induced haze.

Speaking of copper wire money, the money was for a character that had been all of obsolete (except when several characters compared JD McCoy to him in several facets): ladies and gentlemen, Jason Street is back! Last we left “Six,” he was trying to convince his one night stand to bake the bun he put in her oven. Looks like his lobbying at the pizza shop paid off, because Street is a daddy! He and his “Odd Couple” roommate Herc are taking care of the baby when its mom is away at work, or too tired to look after the newborn. Street gets talked into investing in Buddy Garrity’s house with Herc and the Riggins Brothers, even convincing Buddy to sign off on the sale of the house despite Tim’s involvement as a purchaser. Street envisions they can quickly flip the house and he can get some cash in a hurry to convince his baby-mama that he is a viable breadwinner and ultimately to stay with him (truly believable with today’s housing market!). Things turn bittersweet in the end, however, when Street’s baby mama decides to leave with the baby and move back east to live with her parents, and it doesn’t look like any pizza shop motivational speech will change her mind either.

The season’s going spectacular thus far, and I can’t wait until next week. Hopefully these recaps will become smoother and more frequent starting then!